*More from Storm (tell me what you think of it)
“Anna” Matt whispered as he placed a hand on my back gently.
“Sorry I just need a moment” I replied noticing a tear fall onto my cheek.
“Come here” Matt said taking my hand off the handle and pulling me into a hug.
As soon as his arms wrapped around me, I broke down. Tears were coming out of me faster than I thought possible. We stood there for what felt like forever, until my tears dried up.
“I’m sorry, I’m such a mess” I said pulling out of Matt’s hug and rubbing my eyes trying to dry them, knowing that I was making them redder.
“Hey you’re not a mess, you’re hurt, there is a difference” Matt replied pulling my chin up to look at him.
All I could do was smile at him. He took my hand and walked me back to my room. I sat on the edge of my bed next to Matt and didn’t say anything.
“I should go home, give you some time alone” Matt said suddenly.
“No, I don’t want you to go, unless you want to go” I replied looking up at him.
“I just don’t want to out stay my welcome” he replied.
“You’re not, stay. I know you heard everything I said to Daniel and I am glad that you didn’t hit him before he left, although it felt nice having someone look out for me. Everything I said to him was true. If he had come a year ago or even yesterday, I probably could have forgiven him, but he broke my heart and ever since he did, I have been picking up the pieces so that when I finally met someone who liked me as much as I liked them, I would be ready” I said taking Matt’s hands in mine.
“Matt you have to know what he said isn’t true. He doesn’t know how much I loved him and that love vanished as soon as he left with Alex. I have no future with him, I want to have a future with you, that is, if you still like me” I finished moving closer to him.
“This morning when you came to my counter you were like nothing I had ever seen before. I needed to get to know you, so I followed you to your car. When I was speaking with you at your car and gave you my number I only did that because there was something inside me that told me to, that if I didn’t, I was going to miss out on an opportunity of a life time. Then you were open and honest and told me things I never thought I would know about you and I knew immediately I had to be with you, now until forever. I love you Anna and I want to be with you” Matt replied, looking me straight into my eye before pulling me in for a kiss.
Love. He loves me. I never thought that I would ever hear someone say that to me.
“Say something” Matt said as we pulled out of the kiss.
“Say it again” I asked.
“I love you”
I closed my eyes as he said it, soaking up the words, the emotions, the feelings that were running through me.
“I love you Anna and I want to be with you from now until I die” he said whispering as he pulled me onto his lap, so my legs were in the middle of his and my arms were around his neck.
I leaned in and kissed him and he kissed me back.
“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to let you know how I was feeling and be completely honest with you. I don’t want you to say anything you’re not ready to say” he said as he tucked a piece of lose hair behind my ear.
“I was never one to falter to peer pressure”
“That is good to know” he replied.
“Can you say it one more time for me though?” I asked wanting to hear him say it again as I figured out my feelings.
“I’ll say it whenever you want me to. I love you”
“I love you too” I replied with a growing smile on my face.
I do, well I think what I am feeling is love. It has to be love, what else can it be that I am feeling right now?
Matt grabbed my head and pulled it in for a kiss, not letting go for a minute.
“Say it again” he said pulling his lips from mine.
“I love you” I said smiling.
“I love that smile of yours” Matt said running his thumb across my lips.
I smiled again not able to hide how I was feeling. I was happy over the moon, delirious.
“So are we boyfriend and girlfriend then?” I asked shyly.
“If you want to be, as I don’t really tell people I love them unless I want to be with them. I want to be with you, do you want to be with me?”
More than anything in the world.
“I only have one condition”
“And what would that be?” Matt asked.
“Don’t break my heart” I replied knowing if I was going to do this I had to do it openly and honestly.
“Never” Matt said before pulling me in for a kiss.
We kissed and didn’t stop. We were connecting on more than one level and it felt so good. After a few minutes we both got up and walked to the top of my bed where my pillows are. Matt sat down with his back against the headboard and pulled me onto his lap. I was straddling him. He was looking at me once I was comfortable, but he wasn’t staring; it was as though he was staring straight into my soul. I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against his. I could feel Matt’s eyes close and for a brief moment, we were in sync, total and completely in sync with one another. As I moved away from him, I felt the heat from Matt’s lips and knew that he was going to kiss me.
We kissed for a while until I felt Matt shift under me. I started worrying about my weight and how much pain he would be in under me. I’m not the skinniest girl out there, but my curves can make me self-conscious and doubt everything I do sometimes.
“Am I hurting you?” I asked pulling my lips away from Matt’s.
“Yes, because your lips aren’t on mine” he replied without opening his eyes.
I lightly slapped him across the shoulder hoping that he would get how serious I was.
“Is me sitting on you like this hurting your legs?” I asked.
“No but if your uncomfortable we can move” he replied running his hands up and down my legs.
“Stop it Matt. I’m being serious. I don’t want to squash you. I don’t want to hurt you’ I said moving off Matt and lying down next to him.
“Don’t look at me like that” I said as Matt stared at me.
“I’m not looking at you like anything. I just don’t want you to be like all those other girls who don’t like the way they look and hate themselves” Matt said as he lay down next to me perched on his elbow.
“Are you serious? Of course I am like those girls. Have you actually looked at me, I’m hideous” I replied crossing my arms across my chest.
I could hear him sigh.
What if I have just ruined this? What if that is the point, that he likes big girls? Or that his friends dared him to go out with a fat girl?
The bed moved and it wasn’t me, it was Matt. He moved and came right up behind me and placed his arms around me and intertwined his legs between mine.
Is this my first spoon?
“If I said that you are the most beautiful looking girl I have ever seen, you’re not going to believe me. If I say that you look perfect, you’re probably going to hit me again. So this is what I am going to say: you are beautiful, smart, caring and have a beautiful smile and your heart is as big as the ocean. I have never cared for what a person looks like on the outside, for me it’s what is on the inside that counts. I like everything I see and have gotten to know about you and I cannot wait to get to see and know more about you. It helps that you have soul capturing eyes” Matt said from behind me.
I rolled over with blushed cheeks so that we were facing each other.
“Do you mean that?” I asked looking straight at him.
“I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it”
Perfection – if I had to describe Matt in one word. Perfect.
I moved closer to Matt. Everything was touching: our legs, and hands. My head was leaning against his chest and I could hear his heart beating.
“I didn’t think that it was possible to ever be this happy. You’re the reason I’m this happy” I said looking up at him.
“I’m happy that you’re happy. I love you” he replied kissing my forehead.
We were just lying there for a while, listening to rain come and go. I was listening to Matt’s heart beat and smiled as it calmed. I was completely blissed out, happy when I heard my phone ring.
“Seriously? Can you reach over and pass that to me?” I asked know it was sitting on my bed side table that was behind my back.
I’m going to kill you, whoever you are, interrupting my happiness.
It was Dad. He wanted to make sure that I was okay now that the power had gone out. I tried to get him off the phone as fast as I could so I could get back to my blissed out state being with Matt. I hung up hoping that no one else would call and interrupt me and my time with Matt. I handed my phone back to Matt and he placed it on my bedside table.
“My dad likes to worry when he feels like it” I said turning onto my side, propping myself up onto my elbow.
“My mother is the same” Matt added.
“Great, so we both come from screwed up families. We finally have something in common”
“Oh I’m sure we have a lot more in common, we’ve just been busy getting to know each other in other ways. We can work all that boring stuff out later” Matt replied.
“Sounds good” I replied before Matt started to kiss me again.
I could hear the thunder ease as we made out and the rain get louder. I was so comfortable and didn’t want to move. We were close, but as close as we were lying next to each other there was still so much I didn’t know about Matt. The curiosity inside me wanted to find out more about Matt, but the new and improved me just wanted to stay there on her bed making out with my very first boyfriend.
“I can hear your heart beating” I said as my ear lay against his chest.
Matt brushed my hair behind my ear and then kissed the top of my head.
I moved to face Matt so we were face to face. Although we had only done it once, being tucked under Matt’s chin made me feel so safe and comfortable, and listening to his heart beating made me want to kiss him again. I cupped my hand around his cheek and smiled. It was just last night when I dreamt about lying down with a guy, in my bed, in love. And to be honest dreaming about it and doing it are two completely different things.
“Stop staring at me” Matt said placing his hand over my eyes.
“I’m not staring, I’m curious” I replied taking his hand slowly off my eyes.
“Okay, what do you want to know?” Matt said moving to leaning on his elbow.
“When is your birthday?” I asked and just as I finished my phone beeped.
Why does this keep happening?
“I’m sorry” I said leaning over Matt to grab my phone.
INCOMING MESSAGE: Hey did you get my cupcake? Lily.
OUTGOING MESSAGE: Yes.
Just breathe Anna.
“Is everything okay?” Matt asked.
“Yeah it was my sister, Lily. She asked me to buy her a cupcake whilst I was at the shops this morning and wanted to know if I had gotten it. She is a pain in my arse” I replied.
Lily, my older sister, is studying to become a nurse. She is the most annoying sister and thinks because I study from home she has the right to annoy me every time she is at university. We aren’t that far apart in birthdays and she is there when I need her, but she can be very annoying sometimes.
“Sorry, you’d have to meet her to understand. Anyway you didn’t answer my question, when is your birthday?” I asked sitting up on my elbow.
“The 11th of December 1992. How about you?” Matt finally replied.
“You’re a year and two months older than me. I’m October 6th 1993” I said with a smile.
“That’s going to be easy to remember” Matt replied with a growing smile.
“You better not forget it. Wait that sounds like a threat, I mean if you forget it then whatever. What I mean this is new and you might not be good with remembering birthdays or you might be. You know what I’m going to shut up now” I said curling into a ball.
“Hey no it’s cool. I get what you’re saying. I mean guys have a bad reputation of forgetting important things like the person they love birthday. Let’s just say I’m not perfect” Matt replied trying to pry my hands away from my face.
“That’s what you think” I said under my breath.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing. I didn’t say anything” I said coming out of my protective curl.
I just said that you might not think that you are perfect, but in my eyes you are the closest thing that will ever come to perfection.
I saw Matt sneak a peek at his watch.
Oh no please don’t leave.
“Do you have to go?” I asked sheepishly.
Matt smiled and then looked at his watch again.
“I do but not right now. I have about half an hour before I do have to go. I’m sorry, I would love to stay for as long as I can, but I have to cook dinner for my brother after school. My mother won’t, so I have to”
“Hey don’t apologise, you do what you have to do. It’s not like I am keeping you prisoner, except I did think about it. Half an hour is a long time” I said sitting up crossing my legs.
“Trust me I would rather stay and get to know you better and I promise that we will get to know each other. You have my number, you can call me or text me whenever you want to and I don’t live that far away from here. It has been so great getting you knows you Anna and I am never going to forget today. And I know I rushed and told you that I loved you and I didn’t mean to scare you, but I don’t want to waste time with you. I love you” Matt said sitting up taking my hands in his and staring me straight in the eyes as he spoke.
“I don’t want to waste time with you too” I replied pulling his work shirt towards me and kissing him.
“Wait, stop. Let me pack this up first” Matt said pulling away from my kiss.
I helped him pack everything into his basket and watched as his pulled his leather jacket on and fished his car keys out of his pocket.
“Are you going?” I asked leaning against the small wall in front of my bedroom door.
“Not just yet there are two things I need to do first. Firstly I need your phone” Matt asked putting his keys back into his pocket.
“Okay, why?” I asked walking to my bedside table and unlocking my phone.
I handed Matt my phone and watched as he played with it. I had no idea what he was doing to it. Then all of a sudden he locked it and placed it back where it was.
“And the second thing?” I curiously asked.
Matt smiled and the pulled me to him. He is a head taller than me and he has to look down at me and I have to look up at him.
“And for the second thing, I am going to kiss you until your head spins” he said taking my face in his hands and then placing his lips on mine.
My head had been spinning all day and as we stood there in my bedroom kissing, my head spun even more. We kissed and kissed and with every kiss I fell more in love with Matt. The spark was undeniably strong, something I never thought I would ever find.
I felt Matt’s leg vibrate before I heard it ring. I was sitting on his lap and had to get off for Matt to get to it.
“Hi David, I’ll be home as soon as I can be. If you stop doing your homework and take the chicken out and set our plates, dinner will be made in no time. I’ll be right home” Matt said answering his phone.
“I have to go” he said sliding his phone back into his pocket.
“So I heard. Go, you’ve already packed your things” I said as I handed him his jacket and keys.
“Okay, I’m sorry I have to go so fast. I really wanted to stay and keep kissing you” Matt said pulling his jacket on and grabbing the packed basket from the ground.
“I would really love for you to say and keep kissing me too” I said smiling at him, knowing it wasn’t fair.
“Don’t smile at me like that because I might just stay” Matt said grabbing my hand and pulling me closer to him.
He pulled me right in and kissed me again and again. Matt walked backwards bringing me with him to the front door. I was impressed that he didn’t walk into anything and stopped when we reached the door.
“I have to go” he said pulling away from me.
“Go before I make you my prisoner” I replied unlocking the door and the gate.
I walked out with Matt noticing that he had parked behind my car. It is under the carport and no one really parks under here except for Mum and Lily. It is weird seeing someone else’s car under here. But I’m glad I don’t have to get wet now. I watched from behind as Matt unlocked his car, put the basket on the passenger seat and got in. He opened the window as he turned the car on.
“Two quick questions: one, not to sound desperate, annoying, and clingy but should I text you or would you rather me call you? And two, I’m not dreaming right, this is real?” I asked leaning against his window sill.
“I’ll text you once I have finished at home or call, I don’t know yet. And this is totally real, but just in case it isn’t don’t let anyone pinch you and I won’t let anyone pinch me. I’ll talk to you later” Matt said giving me a quick kiss before driving out of the drive way.
I slowly walked back to the front door and waved as Matt drove down the street. As I locked the front door, I found myself unable to move, wondering.
Someone give me a sign that this is real and not a trick my lonely mind has played on me.
Pulling myself away from the front door, I went back to my room and as I stepped into the pitch black room, the lights flicked on.
Great timing there lights. Maybe that’s a sign telling me this is real and meant to be?