What’s in a name?

I have a weird name. It’s not a common name where I live, but it is somewhat common in Italy. I know you don’t know what my name is and I have kept it private for personal reasons and I hope you all understand that. Just know that Juliet from Romeo and Juliet has nothing on my name.

My pen name Girlwithapen is important to me and I think the autonomy is cool and brave.

My mother called me after her own mother, so my grandmother, my Nonna and I have the same name. I have never had a problem with this, it’s never really been a thing, and I have always thought that it was cool that we have the same name. For years I struggled with the spelling and pronunciation of my own name and when I finished high school and started university I legally had to change it because it was spelt wrong on so many official documents that has my name on it. $250 and a few days wasted later, I finally got the right spelling on my birth certificate (my mother spelt it wrong when I was born) and was able to change my name on every account and thing I own.

I never go by my name, no one ever calls me that. The last time I was called my proper name was on my high school graduation day. I usually go by a few different nicknames, some worse than other and some only said my certain people.

But then last night at my uncles 50th birthday party, something weird happened. Someone called me by my real name. It was weird and uncomfortable and honestly I hated hearing it. I don’t hear it often, my mother even calls me by my nickname when I am in trouble because by the time you finish saying my name, the issue is over.

This women said it and as uncomfortable as it was to hear her say it, it was nice, deep down inside me, it felt nice to hear my name said between the lips of a person. I don’t hear it a lot and because of that I am uncomfortable with it. Some days I wish I had a normal name and didn’t have to repeat it to strangers.

You would think at 22 a person would be used to their own name?

Stick around…

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