At the beginning of this year, my group of friends and I headed to another friend’s engagement party. We had gone to school with her and she was part of our ‘group’. That was until she got a boyfriend and high school ended and being separated by universities made it hard to keep in contact. I received the invitation 3 days into the New Year and couldn’t wait to go. It was going to be my first engagement party and the first time I was going to see some friends I hadn’t seen in a long while. I brought myself a new set of clothes for the night and R.S.V.P.’d that I was going to be attending. On the invitation it stated ‘smart casual’ on the dress code, so you know, nice respectable clothing. Easy, done, simply, good to go.
A month and few days later it was the night of the engagement party. It was at a local beach hotel in a venue room overlooking lush sandy beaches and was just spectacular, not a cloud in the sky and just the right temperature not having to worry about a jacket for the night. My close group of friends decided to head to the venue together, not wanting it to be awkward seeing as we all hadn’t seen this girl for a long time, we were surprised to see an invitation at all.
Together we climbed the stairs to the venue room and entered, entered into one of the most unforgettable and shocking nights of my life. As soon as we walked in, we saw that we were the first other than her family to have had arrived. To all of our surprise, none of us were wearing anything wrong or too casual, but everyone else was covered head to toe in ballroom/black tie even clothing.
We didn’t collectively know what to do, there was nothing that we could do. We had dress as per specified on her invitation and yet here we stood in hand-me-downs compared to what they were all wearing.
She came and greeted us, gave us some drinks and thanked us for coming and all that boring usual stuff and for the rest of the night ignored every single one of us. We were the only girls she had gone to school with that were there, a few other random friends and just family and in an oversized room that was not properly dressed for the amount of people that had been invited, she made us feel as though we were in the wrong. We hadn’t intentionally dressed the way that we had to upset her, we dressed to her invitations specifications no more no less, and yet as double standards arose, our friendship crumbled.
She hasn’t spoken to any of us since.